Principle One: I Am Woman, Hear Me Roar

"Life's a bitch. You have to go out there and kick ass."

Now that you've taken your first steps into togetherness, I thought it was time to explain some of the key principles behind "Becoming Sophrosyne". The plan was born out of the stresses and strains of corporate graduate life and the challenges we face in trying to find the balance; challenges that are often unique to being or intensified by being a woman. 

I have never thought of myself as a feminist (at least, not in the bra-burning, male-hating, crazy kinda way) but I am definitely pro-equality. I am a woman. I also happen to work in business. This means that I have a somewhat vested interest in how women can make it to the top...and the huge gender gap that exists in this arena. I work in beauty, an industry that one would perhaps presume to be dominated by women. However, once you look at positions higher than Marketing Director, the company is still largely dominated by men.

Initially, I never really questioned it but after a while, it really started to grate on me. Where are all the women? All these hugely talented, intelligent, bright women who I work with every day. Where do they go? Why don't they "make it"? 

I am a huge fan of TED talks and recently found a talk by Sheryl Sandberg, COO of Facebook, addressing exactly this point:

There are some pretty shocking statistics in that speech: only 15% of people "at the top" (C-level jobs, board seats etc) are women. Sheryl attributes this to women having to make the conscious choice between professional success and personal fulfilment. Her solution is to keep women in the work force by proposing 3 messages that we need to "get out there":

1. Sit at the table: women systematically underestimate their own abilities. They do not negotiate in the work place. You have the right to a seat. Take it.
2. Make your partner a real partner: we need to make as much progress at home as we have in the work place. We have to let women stay in the work force.
3. Don't leave before you leave: women plan. If they know they might want to start a family, they mentally check out too early and miss opportunities.

Sheryl makes a good point. In our society, it is true that there is more pressure on women to make a decision between having a career and having a family. I have been exposed to this at the age of 23, still years away from even entertaining the possibility of children. Recently, I have had discussions with friends who have told me that they would almost certainly give up their careers when the time for family comes. These are strong, independent, ambitious women. I would not criticise their choice if I believed that they were making the decision because it's what they really want to do but I genuinely find it shocking that, in the 21st century, our women are dropping out of the work force because they can't see a viable alternative.

Add on to that the fact that success and likeability are positively correlated for men yet, the more successful a woman is, the less she is liked. And not just by men, but by her female peers and colleagues too. We are already fighting an uphill battle against age old stereotypes and conflicting life decisions without throwing bitching and backstabbing into the mixer. 

Why should it be that just because a woman fights for what she believes in, works hard and fights the scrappy battles to succeed that she is automatically characterised as political, or selfish, or hard to work with?! These women are the game changers, the ones who are putting their balls (or not, as it happens) on the line to close the gap and level out the playing field. These are the women that should be celebrated, the women that will make the big, bad corporate world a fairer and more equally representative place to be. We should support them or, even better, BE them.

So, now that I have had my rant, I have a favour to ask. In fact, I have a few. Because, if you don't ask, you don't get. You might have noticed by now that I love a quote so here are 3 that I would love for you to remember as you navigate your way through the corporate minefield.

1. Good things don't come to those who wait, they come to those who dream: Take your seat at the table. Believe in your abilities. Fight for what you believe in.
2. Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you imagined: Stop planning, start doing. Don't worry about what might (or might not) happen. Take every opportunity.
3. A problem shared is a problem halved: Don't bitch. We're all in this together. One step at a time, we can all make a difference.

Love, life and laughter,

Sophrosyne

xxx